July 12, 2004

05:25:04

so, we would now like to inform you that the reason Happiness is one of those Indefinables is because it's a Constant Variable. Thusly, the reason America works so well is cuz we are allowed ro Pursue whatever ideallistic vision of Happiness we embrace. However- did I mention we manufacture stipulations?- if you are ever actually caught being happy, in America... we'll have to kill you. Cuz it's selfish. And greedy. And there's bald bloated Bosnian babies with bulemia in Bosnia, DAMMIT!

(...fucking monovision is killing me...)

Or as my folks would say, "Wanting is Free". And we are. Free to want all we want while the wanting is Free, but Necessity is costly. So what are you[America}, 'cept the one lingering parental figure, blindfolded, just as you have been whilst denying me what makes me subsist, persist, and retain this passion for all things I can never have.

Blessed be the things that drive you for it's kineticy. These deliberate motions, thoughts into actions, stemming from this potential well of what we all knew was God all along- but a manifestation of ourselves, Evolutions Apex.

(...After all...I thought we were all active participants in this recurring dream...Or are we all just engulfed by the same Oceans...Where the fog never lifts...And reception doesn't get any better...)

So here's my grievance- I can want to be Happy all I want, but not avtually BE happy. Most attributed to the fact that since I'm a gay, pot-smoking, Population Control Associate in training, most of what would make me happy is currently illegal in the good ol' States. And I do plan on changing all that, which I am very aware directly conflicts with a multitude of Others' conceptualized vision of Happiness. But most of them subscribe to the ADV 5.92 (Alternate Dystopian Version) brought to you by AOL, Citgo, Phillip Morris, and NBC so fuck 'em. They can remain delusional.

And my transgression- well, regrettably I must also inform you that despite these apparent legal boundaries, I've been doing my damndest to gratify all the things- apart from killing people- that would make me happy EVERY day. Sounds obscene doesn't it? Perhaps even a lil perverse, hedonistic, or self-centered? Well it is. Even kind of corrosive at tymes. Not to quote McDonald's, but I'm lovin it. And I'm doing my best to encourage others to do the same, in whatever matter THEY find appropriate. Chaos? Mebbe. But I really do believe that if we collectively focused on being a little more self-involved (not absorbed) that communication would naturally climax and grounds for growth can be sewn. Despite everything, doing what makes you happy, completely guilt-free.

Oh, and try to to be ambivelant.

Just ignore the guy next to you, youur neighboor, whomever if what you see doesn't quite... settle. In which case I prescribe a wee bit more self-assesment.

Or just ask him what the fuck he's doing. I mean for Gods sake, you're an American! And if you're not going to be inquisitive then just please remain oblivious. Watch the goddam News or something.